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Catholic Church’s Views on Love and Sex Should Adapt to the Times


I consider myself to be a devout Catholic. I grew up being very active and involved in the church: I was the first female alter server in my parish, I was in the children’s and adult choir, I’ve been a lector and Eucharistic minister, a catechism teacher and was presented at the bishop’s ball when I was younger. I believe that Adam and Eve were the first two people put on this earth.

That being said, I believe that two people in love should have the right to get married, even if it isn’t a heterosexual couple. I also believe that, as a woman, I have the right to decide what to do with my own body: whether it be to have a child or abortion, or use contraceptives to prevent me from having to make that enormous decision before I’m ready to do so. Instead of progressing with the times, the Catholic Church appears to be going backwards. We have even gone back to the OLD Mass responses that are said every week.

After confirmation, when I was an “adult” in the church’s eyes, I stopped going to church. Why? Because, simply put, nobody “made” me go. I had a job that I had to work Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. I strayed from my faith after getting angry with God for taking loved ones from me. I may have been an “adult” in the church, but I certainly was still a child in all other aspects.

As I was planning to get married a year-and-a-half ago, I was very excited and emotional at the thought of walking down the aisle in the church I grew up in,  the church my parents and grandparents were wed,  the church that made me feel safe and loved growing up.

My fiancé and I decided to start attending Masses before we got married. I had finally forgiven God, and needed Him back in my life. When I went to the priest (who I thought was supposed to welcome, love, and support those coming into his congregation), I was made to feel like I was 2 inches tall. Every Mass that I sat through, I would get a look of disgust as the priest would parade around to get to the altar to say Mass. This wasn’t just in my head; others would comment to me after mass about how the priest would look at me.  [More]

By Jessica Medeiros


The Herald News



  1. Msgr. Andy Varga says:

    Dear Jessica…
    First of all, if any of my brother priests have caused you embarrassment or pain or ill will in any way, I am truly sorry and I apologize. It’s supposed to be our life-work to bring people and Jesus together, not drive them apart by our own judgmental tendencies. (I’m happy that Fr. Bernier is part of your ongoing life as a Catholic!)
    At the same time, I must ask you re-examine some of things that you said in your article:
    1) “Having sex is NOT just for procreation anymore!” First of all, The Church has never said this “just for” part! We Catholics proclaim and believe and rejoice in the truth that there is such a beautiful bond between the “unitive” and “procreative” aspects of sexual union that
    allows human beings to participate intimately and joyfully in the very life and nature of God! That’s why Jesus became one of us in the first place: to prove that it CAN be done!! God is never selfishly pleasured; God always derives divine joy from total loving, self-giving, life-giving without anything held back. If there is only pleasure and no new life possible, our use of God’s gift of sexuality would contradict God’s own image and being within us! Second, the only One who can change the “anymore” part is the One who wrote the “users’ manual” in the first place back when Adam and his Eve (whose existence you have acknowledged) were on their first date!

    2) “…in today’s world, we have to come to accept the fact that yes, people are going to be sexually active, probably before marriage even…”
    We’ve always accepted that “fact” that there is in all living beings “the urge to merge”… does that mean that we should not let Jesus challenge us to something better than biological urges? Should we “dumb-down” a higher ideal when God has made us and trusts us to be better than that?

    3) “…a new law down the line: one that requires churches to pay to support those unwanted children…” We already do that with full hearts and great love!! Nobody has to “require” us Catholics to do it, because we are committed to seeing the image of God (and the capacity for God’s toal self-giving, life-giving love) in every human being. If this part of our faith-relationship-commitment ever becomes a matter of dollars and cents, we would be a pitiable group of people indeed.
    Dear Jessica!
    Keep searching for the fullness of the gospel truth that moved you to write this letter!
    Blessings to you,
    Your brother in Christ,

    Read more: http://www.heraldnews.com/news/x1882856721/GUEST-OPINION-Catholic-Churchs-views-on-love-and-sex-should-adapt-to-the-times#ixzz1mNG623VM

    • Peggy says:

      Thank you monsignor! We need the Church to continue to challenge us in a pastoral rather than authoritarian way, to become more God directed humans instead of self directed individualists who make their moral judgements based on what “feels good” to them


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